For writers, learning how to stop self-sabotaging is a crucial step in securing your future success. Take it from me, self-sabotage can creep in without you noticing it and start stealing opportunities from right under your feet.

I have missed out on so many chances to have my writing published, not because the quality wasn’t high enough, but because I didn’t even apply in the first place. I used to allow my self-doubt to control my success and it took a lot of time and energy to first recognise this behaviour pattern, then change it.

Today, I am not only a successful writer but a writing coach guiding clients through the process I experienced so that they can reach their full potential. In this post, I’m going to share these steps with you.

Keep reading to learn:

1. What is Self-Sabotage?
2. How to Spot Sef-Sabotage in a Writer?
3. How to Stop Self-Sabotaging as a Writer (a step-by-step guide)
4. What is a Writing Coach?

What is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or unconsciously acting in a way that is going to limit your future opportunities. Typically it materialises through a pattern of behaviour with a person repeatedly making choices that work against them and their future goals.

Self-sabotage can take many forms both internal and external such as:

• Making avoidable mistakes
• Negative self-talk
• Adopting unhealthy choices
• Giving up on something
• Not asking for help

Self-sabotage is sometimes easy to spot, for example burning bridges with important connections, but is less obvious, like turning down a huge opportunity out of fear.

Most people will experience self-sabotage at some point in their lives whether professionally, personally, or in their relationships, but by recognising the pattern of behaviours it is possible to change them.

Why Do People Self Sabotage?

Surprisingly, self-sabotage is often an active choice, with someone not believing they are worthy of a certain opportunity or expecting it to be taken away from them. In an attempt to remain in control of the situation, they then begin to self-sabotage so that if they fail, at least it is on their terms.

This is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – because someone thinks they are going to fail, they cause their own failure.

An example of this is imposter syndrome, in which a person does not believe they deserve to be in the position that they are. Those experiencing imposter syndrome often lessen their talents to fit their (untrue) perception of themself, ultimately dimming their light.

Other times, self-sabotage happens without the self-saboteur being aware of it. In these cases, it is often as a result of a refusal to face reality. We all have faults – that’s what it means to be human – but ignoring these weaknesses only allows them to thrive.

If you’ve been told you have an issue with time management, then refuse to change your ways, resulting in the late delivery of work and unfinished projects, it is also a form of self-sabotage.

Equally, not seeking help when you know you have a problem also counts as self-sabotage. This is because your unwillingness to accept external support is directly causing you to continue a downward spiral.

How to Spot Sef-Sabotage in a Writer?

Self-sabotage can be an incredibly sneaky thing, particularly in the world of writers. Working with words means flexibility in the workday, writer’s block, and taking creative risks. Unfortunately, being a writer also goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt and lack of motivation.

Being able to identify when the mental challenges of writing are seeping into self-sabotaging actions is necessary for stopping the process as early as possible. Here’s what to look out for:

5 Symptoms of Self-Sabotage in Writers

Giving Up on Projects

Repeatedly abandoning projects on reaching the first hurdle is a clear sign of self-sabotage. It shows not only that you don’t believe in your work, but that you also don’t want to put in the effort to overcome obstacles as a writer to reach the next level of your career.

Not Sharing Your Writing

Putting your work out into the world is unfortunately the only way to succeed as a writer. If you do not even share your projects with trusted loved ones, you are majorly limiting the opportunities that can find you in the future.

To hit your goals, you should be sending your work out to as many people and places as possible to create the best chance of success in the future.

Perfectionism

How many times have you tirelessly gone over your last piece of writing because it isn’t ‘good enough’ yet? Here’s the reality, there’s no such thing as perfect. There comes a point where you are no longer improving your work and instead just delaying the success it could have out in the world.

Overcommitment

We can only get a certain amount of work done in a day. It’s important to be realistic about this so you can provide realistic expectations to clients and not spread yourself too thin.

The goal for any freelance writer should be to under-promise and over-deliver. Prioritise quality over quantity and don’t take on more than you can execute.

Procrastination

Don’t get me wrong, procrastination is NORMAL. It happens to us all, and I would go so far as to say that it is a part of my creative process. However, chronic procrastination can be a problem.

If you are noticing that every day you are losing hours of writing time to distraction, it’s time to take your writing path more seriously and get to work on self-improvement.

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging as a Writer (a step-by-step guide)

The good thing about self-sabotage is that it comes from you – that means you can control it…although I’ll be honest, it is easier said than done. As a writing coach, I’ve supported many writing clients through the process of stopping their self-sabotage. These are the steps you need to take:

Step 1: Pattern Recognition

Self-sabotage isn’t one isolated action, it is a series of continuous and repeated behaviours over time. To be able to interrupt this cycle of negativity, it’s important to first identify exactly what your self-sabotage looks like.

Think back over the past few months or years to moments of failure or missed opportunity, and try to find patterns in these events to start to understand your own self-sabotaging actions.

Step 2: SMART Goals

SMART goals are objectives that meet the criteria of being Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. They’re important for setting goals that you will be able to complete in a realistic timeline and help to fight self-sabotage by creating a plan for your growth as a writer.

Making SMART goals and sticking to them will help you progress in your career by providing structure to your movements.

Step 3: Locate Obstacles

No course of action is without challenge. To directly oppose the impulse to self-sabotage, you need to prepare for success – that means identifying possible obstacles and planning for how you will overcome them. Make a list of obstacles and think about what you need to do to be ready to face them head-on.

Step 4: Create Accountability

This is particularly important for the major procrastinators out there. Having a great plan for success only works if you’re able to consistently execute it, which is where accountability comes in. External accountability is usually more powerful than internal which means looking into a writing coach, writing partner, or setting deadlines that require you to deliver by a certain date.

Step 5: Track Progress

Awareness is everything when it comes to fighting self-sabotage. You want to be able to identify your wins to use as further motivation to keep going, and part of that comes from a tangible way to track your progress.

This might be in the form of a weekly self-check-in, goal tracker, or rewards program that helps you to see exactly where you are on the path to success. Knowing how far you come is also going to help you fight against any self-doubt or urge to give up.

Step 6: Make Meaningful Change

Stopping self-sabotage doesn’t happen overnight. Executing a behaviour change is going to take weeks, months, or even years – and that’s a good thing! You are trying to shift the way your mind works to let go of fear and embrace a growth mindset.

This means integrating meaningful change into your everyday actions to create tangible success in your writing career over time.

What is a Writing Coach?

A huge asset when fighting self-sabotage as a writer is working with a coach like myself. As your coach, I act as your accountability and creative partner to ensure you reach your writing goals.

Writing coaching consists of regular meetings to discuss your short, medium, and long-term objectives with an emphasis on furthering your current writing projects and overcoming the challenges of self-doubt and writer’s block.

Writing coaching is an investment in your writing journey by allowing a professional to guide you and provide creative and professional advice.

If interested in my services as a writing coach, you can book a coaching consultation or get in touch directly with your questions.